so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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