I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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