I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
