he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
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