somebody snuck up and got me drunk
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
