Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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