I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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