i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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