Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize