The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
