I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
We named our party play list daddy issues
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
