i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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