So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
