she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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