My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
