i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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