you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
