I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
