OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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