I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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