I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
