i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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