when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize