On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
