I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Randomize
