Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize