Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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