Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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