if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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