i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
