Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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