NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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