Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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