Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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