I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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