"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
