Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
a search helicopter?!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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