He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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