I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
