Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
