You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
