and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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