I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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