I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
