You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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