Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
