I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
