you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
