Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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