I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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