I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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