The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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