Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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