yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
