Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
