i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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