Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
