So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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