come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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