There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
