One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize