you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
