he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Boobs are out for the taking
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
