I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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