sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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