I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
