i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
